Suiciding: Thoughts On Michael Jackson's Race, Face, Sensitivity & Suicide (Possible)

[Vincent Wright]

To date, I've heard no one really address a very key issue at the very heart of what's considered Michael Jackson's "troubles": the issue of being a sensitive African American male.

Think about it: the sensitivity of boys is one of the most dismissive topics in American conversation. Change the ethnicity of the boy to black and it's almost sacrilege - virtually nonsensical to think of sensitivity and African American males in the same sentence.

The theory seems to go "If you are black and if you are a boy, you are HARD - - - BORN that way. That is the only possible option - that is the only possible category which fits you. Fall outside of this category and we're forced to categorize you as "strange", "weird", "alien", "an anomaly not worthy of our attention""

But, given the size of the population, surely there MUST be African American boys who are sensitive.

PLEASE NOTE: This has NOTHING to do with sexual orientation.

What it has to do with is maturely thinking about what becomes of that so called "rare" class of boys who happen to be very sensitive. Sensitive to abuse - whether verbal or not - and whether or not at the hands of those in the same nation, the same race, the same gender, the same school, or even the same family.

There is a group of people who are insistent on portraying African American boys as NECESSARILY hardened, drug worshiping, car-jacking thugs.

That portrayal is a long-standing lie.

The longer I live the more intent I become in categorically labeling such people as liars.

For, either life is lying or those who monolithically classify African American boys as insensitive are lying.

I tend to believe the latter.

Indeed, I believe the highly marketed description of African American boys as being insensitive, never was true.

If Louis Armstrong weren't a sensitive African American boy, how do you explain his mesmerizing trumpet playing?

Likewise with Langston Hughes, Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gillespie, Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Smokie Robinson, James Brown, Johnie Hodges, Frederick Douglas, Martin Luther King, and dozens, hundreds, thousands upon thousands of sensitively gifted musicians, writers, doctors, lawyers, ministers, educators, artists, and philosophers who've given us such deep things from so deeply within themselves.

But, what happens to those boys who, when abused and who are NOT into shooting you in the face for abusing them, have to go to sleep?

Thoughts of the abuse reverberates in their minds just at the moment they should be trying to renew themselves through sleep.

The fortunate ones may write it out or sing it out or rap it out of draw it out or work it out, etc.

The less fortunate ones may pacify it out with drink or drugs or sex or excessive television, etc.

The UNfortunate ones may just turn to sheer violence and other forms of destructive expression.

Another, barely noticeable class may work so hard at trying to erase the thoughts of the recurring pain that they begin the process of ERASING THEMSELVES - - - SUICIDING.

They take poorly guided steps in trying to rid themselves of the pain so much so that they become addicted to the pattern of erasing themselves entirely - rather than the healthier approach of erasing the impact of the original painful abuse - erasing bad patterns of behavior borne out of their abuse, rather than erasing themselves, totally.

Michael Jackson changed his nose to ease his pain.

Michael Jackson changed his nose again to ease his pain.

Michael Jackson changed his nose again and again and again to erase the pain still reverberating from that long ago verbal abuse. (If not taught how to address it in healthier ways, the passage of time means nothing with respect to getting rid of the original pain.)

Michael Jackson lightened his skin again and again and again - almost erasing all traces of the pigment which he was born with - I guess guessing that if he could erase the pigment, he could erase the pain.

What is this erasing but "suiciding"?

And what is suiciding but erasing parts or ALL of oneself?

Though this can be a troubling topic - virtually verboten to discuss - it's a subject CRYING for mature minds to address it. Not out of fear. Not out of automatic condemnation. But, rather, out of preserving people who might be able to add more value to our society, if they could find a better handle on using their energy than an over indulgence in suiciding...

And though it might seem odd for someone to indulge in what I'm describing as suiciding, it's almost impossible for anyone - black, white, Asian, Hispanic or otherwise - to reach a full level of mature adulthood without having such thoughts flash through their minds whether because of loss of employment, loss of a business, loss of a marriage, loss of a child, loss of community, or other significant, spirit-numbing losses.

And because NONE of us are permanently safe from having these experiences plague us at some stage of our lives, it's all the more incumbent upon us to treat those presently forced to deal with it as we would wish them to deal with us when we find ourselves wrestling with one of the most troubling companions one can have in life...

But, it is not something to fear. It's something to solve...

Do you have a solution?

Thanks, and Keep STRONG!!
Vincent Wright
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[Natosha]

Peace and Blessings,

I understand where you're coming from Vincent, however in my humble opinion this type of problem is much much bigger than you and I. Michael Jackson's obsession / condition (including his mutilation or self-suicide if you will) was nothing more than a form of self-hatred manifested. His case was extreme because although it started as a child from verbally abusive remarks regarding his physical attributes, because he was in the limelight he never had time to heal mentally because he was constantly working trying to please others. Plus he was constantly around the same person(s) responsible for creating that sickness in him to begin with. Not too mention, the entertainment industry is the belly of the beast for African Americans because this is where the western beauty concept and media stereotypes are manufactured and pumped out to the rest of us. Many African American children, not just boys go through the experience of not wanting to look a certain way when they are kids. The difference is that as adults, some are able to develop a mental toughness or a knowledge of self that allows them to overcome western society's nonsense, and some of us are not. It's funny also that you mention "suicide" regarding MJ. In my opinion, the young black males who continue to partake in violent behavior are also practicing self-suicide. These boys/young men always know there's a possibility that they can be shot and killed for running with the wrong crowd or having confrontations with certain individuals, yet they still continue to do it- why? I think deep down this is the only way they think they will get the attention they may not have gotten as children. They are no different than suicide bombers. They have just chosen a different cause and it's not rooted in religion.

On another note, my solution is very simple: We as African Americans must make a stronger commitment to be supportive of our children and other AA children. We need to give them compliments when they are worthy so that they may continue to grow with a healthy dose of self confidence. When their egos are bruised from being teased at school by other children who lack self confidence and have been brainwashed by the media that they should look and act a certain way, we must be resilient in pointing out to our children that the media is NOT reality, and that the other kids buying into the garbage don't know any better. Last, as adults we need to watch how we talk to and about each other around our kids especially from making derogatory comments about another AA man/woman in terms of physical attributes and features. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. If we try to practice these simple things, perhaps we can begin to erase the self hate one child at a time..

[Vincent Wright]

Peace and blessings to you, too, Natosha,
First: I want to thank you for your very detailed and in-depth response to a very serious matter.
Second: I do concur with you that "the media is NOT reality". Indeed, it's not even respectably close to being reality. (I remember for ages trying to talk like the blacks I was seeing portrayed on TV - only to realize that it wasn't me. And, further, it wasn't like any of my friends, nor my relative. It was just the figment of some poor writer's imagination. (That's a benign assessment...)
Third: I'm happy to agree with you, too, that we need to watch how we talk to one another. I LOVE giving compliments to the women in my family - but, then again, they've been blessed with an abundance of beauty. And the young men, too, are very handsome, healthy, and for the most part, predominantly happy. To those who don't have a predilection for happiness, I try to help them count the reasons they SHOULD be happy - or at least content.

Thanks again, for your response, Natosha.
+Vincent